what I learned in solitary confinement

Okay, that's the dramatic title. For a more pleasant one, you can replace it with 'solitude'.

I realized the other night when I was at my apartment that even though I spend a lot of time alone, it's all time where I am involuntarily alone. Since I've had my phone, I always have it on me or nearby. So I went on a walk and left the phone behind. I think it's important to take time to be voluntarily alone, to be in solitude. Being alone, and closing off opportunities to be with others, is totally different from being alone while leaving yourself open to being with others. When it's voluntary, it's much more peaceful and relaxing, where involuntary alone-ness can be stressful. This next year, I'll need to make sure that I do intentionally leave myself by myself at times, where no one can get a hold of me.

This weekend has been really good.

A story: So last night a little after 9, I rode my bike from the U-district to my brother's house. The friends I was with had just left, and I wasn't able to get a hold of anyone, so I went to Zach's even though I knew he wouldn't be there. I thought someone would be, though. I got to the house and rang the doorbell, but no one came. Then I had to pee really bad. So I paced around trying to figure out what to do. I called Zach's phone, but he didn't answer, and I left a message asking if he knew a good place to pee. But I ended up just going to the park. Then I biked down to Greenlake, rode around the lake and came back to the house. I love biking in the city at night. So I'm back at Zach's, and I read a little bit. Now, I can concentrate since my bladder isn't bugging me. Unfortunately, I started to get cold, because I don't have a sweater with me. Once cold, I can't concentrate on what I'm reading, and just end up sitting and walking around until Zach and Javier show up and let me in the house. Once we're in there, one of Zach's roommates comes out of his room. He says he heard the doorbell but thought there were other people in the house who would let me in.

But I'm glad he didn't get up. If he had, I wouldn't have gone on my sweet bike ride, or peed in the park. It's like missing the ferry last weekend. It turned out good, and I'm glad that we missed it and had to wait another two hours.