music dog knowledge

I read this yesterday in Yukio Mishima's Temple of the Golden Pavilion:

"Music is like a dream. At the same time it is, on the contrary, like a more distinct form
of consciousness than that of our normal waking hours."

That is also a good description of some of my favorite books, like Snow, or authors, like Murakami.

Anyway, dogs make me feel guilty. One of our dogs, when I come home on the motorbike and am driving down our long driveway, always runs in front of me, and she's so friendly, and I never play with her, and I always feel bad about this. I feel guilty because the dogs are so friendly and want to play, but I don't play with them.

I feel very curious and interested in tourists. Tonight, I was thinking about this, and thought that maybe it's because when they're here, they're in a place that they don't belong, and when people are in places they don't belong, there's an interesting story for why they're there and where they're from. I used to make fun of tourists a lot, but I don't feel the same level of scorn that I used to. When I feel scornful is when I'm around tourists who start talking about things in Thailand like they know what they're talking about, or when they got it out of a travel book.

I feel power over people when I know where they acquired a certain piece of knowledge or advice, or a certain idea from. In the same vein, I feel embarrassed when I express something that isn't my own when there's people around who know where I got it from. Some times.

Sex and sexual attraction are closely connected in my mind to knowledge and intelligence. I know it's really weird when people talk about what's sexy to them, but what the hell.