dee vee jun

there's a painting hanging on the wall above my computer that I never looked at before. it's a picture of a hummingbird.

often, when I think about people being broken, or myself being broken, I think of it as divided. my life and interests and passions are divided. I don't love God wholly, or purely. I don't love others wholly, or purely. and, I never will, no matter how much I want to (and I never will want to absolutely, because of this division where even when I want to love God and love others I still want to look out for myself, not in a good way but in a bad way). I'm tired of that.