In my limited work experience, I've found that with each new job I learn a lot of the ways I function, and especially the ways I don't function well. Working at the library, I'm learning that I don't do well with an infinite number of tasks I could be performing. I like finite jobs, where I know going in what I need to do, and then I do it, and then I'm done. Mostly, I just have a hard time feeling like I can take a break when I have unlimited work I could be doing. That is one of the reasons why I would probably be terrible at developmental work and social activism: I burn out really fast when there's no end to what I need to do. That's also one of the reasons that I love school and writing: a defined amount of work that needs to be completed in a defined amount of time. I work better with deadlines. And, whatever this means, the quality is something that I set myself, rather than the quantity.
I think that the reason I don't feel like I know my friends very well is that for many of them, I don't have a real sense of history. There's a vague outline of where they lived, but very little idea of who they were, what they did, what they liked, what their problems were, and how they've changed.
Parenthetical thought: I'm really interested in the point at which people start to share stories, not just tell someone facts about themselves, but to tell a story about themself.
Most of my friends over here, I can know that (to some extent) for a two year period, which is barely anything. My sense of my friends' history is fragmented, and it will always be fragmented, but its more fragmented than I want.
2 comments:
This makes me think of life stories at everyEVERYspu function. I think that the intent is to get a more dynamic understanding of who a whole person is but it seems like an extremely contrived way of doing that. Maybe the fact that they exist is indicative that they are not occurring naturally ( I have a feeling that life stories are rooted in efficiency and micro-waved friendships...)
For myself, I feel very different than the person I was 4 years ago so I often accidently distance myself from her. It's good for me to remember to value my past, or maybe just laugh at it, since it is still a part of who I am.
Your thoughts about friends history rings true for me too. I have always been bummed out that I don't know where my friends came from. It's very difficult to understand someone now when you didn't know them then. People can't forget about their past. Experience is what makes us who we are.
Post a Comment